


Some drabbles of mine.

by BreathingWater



Category: Original Work
Genre: Poetry, Writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreathingWater/pseuds/BreathingWater
Summary: These are some poems or songs or really just any writing about my feelings and such. I apologize for how shitty they all are.





	1. Chapter 1

My eyes bleed from wallowing in self pity. My feet throb under the weight of the world that lye upon my shoulders. My back can't stay up straight, for the fear of overexerting is enough to mortify. My eyelids flutter as I think of a time when I wasn't sad, a time when the bad days were minimal, and my smiles were bright, a time when my mother didn't lock her door in fear of me knocking, a time when smiles were real and laughs weren't fake. A time when I was happy.

If only I could awaken from this nightmare I live. Sleeping my way through education and importance. I can't keep my eyes open anymore, for the fear that the real world isn't what I dreamt, and the fear of opening my eyes to something worse than the dark thoughts that plague my head. I'm scared of the person who stares back when I look in the mirror. I'm scared of who she is and what she's capable of. I don't know who I am anymore, good or bad, demon or angel? I may never be sure, for from my eyes, the days get shorter and the nights get longer, my dry sobbing gets louder as my eyes finally water. Releasing the pain I've been hiding for years. I've always been a crier, through thick and thin, crying and sleeping my way through life, never comprehending what's going on in the world around me.

Forever scared of the lies people tell for attention. The only thing they want is to be heard by someone, anyone.

I should never go home again, in fear of being slapped or choked. I should give up on love, for every attempt ends in heart ache. I should stop fighting my eyes open in the morning, for the world my imagination creates is far better than this hell I live in. I should just take a blade and end it all, but I will always be too scared of what comes after death. Hell or heaven, nothing? Is it nothing? Is the only thing this life leads up to is nothing?


	2. Crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof.

Crying is a release, a form of finally coping with the sadness that aches inside your soul. It is a short lived freedom from the bottles up pain that bursts at the seams of your beautiful blue eyes. It is a reliever, for finally all of this pain and sadness adds up and morphs to something physical. You bite at the hand that feeds you, for the hand that feeds you is that of which chokes you, and hurts you. You cry and weep when he hurts you, when he ignores you for others, for when he doesn't acknowledge your pitiful existence, in fear of his friends laughing at his antics. Your mom still smiles at you as if she isn't the reason for your fear of coming home. You're sad when the sky cries, you're scared when the sun dies. You weep when the wind blows the wrong direction. You sigh as he kisses down your neck. You fear when he leaves. For when he leaves, you're left alone, alone with your sad, pitiful self. Alone with the thought that have ruled your mind for a decade, a decade at least.


	3. Arms

Arms full of shame  
Heart filled with pain  
Knees start to weaken  
You fall to the floor.

Bad days outnumber the good  
Your humor goes dark  
You fear opening your eyes.

For the frightening thoughts  
of the real world plague  
your head, darker than  
the thoughts that had overcome your soul.

You're scared of the girl,  
The girl in the mirror  
The one who hurts herself  
For any type of release  
Good or bad  
Deadly or safe.

If only you could awaken  
Awaken from this nightmare you live  
But you can't open your eyes  
Too scared of the truth that   
lye beyond your eyelids.


End file.
